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'Mummy is sick and going to die- I can't leave you behind'- psych expert reveals Lauren Dickason's last words to daughters

Author
Anna Leask,
Publish Date
Thu, 27 Jul 2023, 3:15pm

'Mummy is sick and going to die- I can't leave you behind'- psych expert reveals Lauren Dickason's last words to daughters

Author
Anna Leask,
Publish Date
Thu, 27 Jul 2023, 3:15pm

WARNING: This story contains graphic and sensitive content.

A global expert who 鈥渓iterally wrote the book鈥� on how to carry out psychiatric evaluations of mothers who have killed their children is giving extensive evidence in support of triple murder-accused mum Lauren Dickason鈥檚 defence of insanity or infanticide as her High Court trial continues today.

She spent 10 hours interviewing Dickason across four days and this afternoon revealed the killer told her she frequently had thoughts and images in her mind about killing her children.

But she told no one of these thoughts in the weeks before the girls died.

Dickason is accused of murdering her three little girls at their Timaru home in September 2021 but claims she was so mentally disturbed at the time she cannot be held responsible for the deaths.

This morning Dr Susan Hatters-Friedman began giving evidence as a defence witness.

Yesterday defence lawyer Anne Toohey told the jury what it could expect from her.

鈥淭his case is not just about depression, it鈥檚 about postpartum depression and a mother who killed three children,鈥� she said.

聽鈥淭he leading world expert on this phenomenon is Dr Susan Hatters Friedman. She is a world-renowned forensic psychiatrist. She is also a reproductive psychiatrist.

鈥淎nd that means she is an expert on mental disorders flowing from all things from infertility to childbirth and beyond.

鈥淪he has published numerous peer-reviewed articles on why parents killed their children. It鈥檚 called filicide.

鈥淪he literally wrote the book on how to do psychiatric evaluations of mothers who have killed their children.鈥�

Lauren Anne Dickason appears in court on the first day of her two-week trial for the murder of her three children.

Lauren Anne Dickason appears in court on the first day of her two-week trial for the murder of her three children.

Dickason, 42, is聽Lian茅 - who was a week from her 7th birthday - and 2-year-old twins Maya and Karla.

The sisters were found dead in their beds by their father Graham Dickason when he returned home from a work function.

The family had only been in New Zealand for a matter of weeks after emigrating from South Africa.

Dickason聽by reason of insanity or infanticide.

While the Crown acknowledges Dickason suffered from sometimes-serious depression, it maintains she knew what she was doing when she killed the girls.

Last week,聽and killed them 鈥渕ethodically and purposefully, perhaps even clinically鈥�.

The defence refutes that, saying Dickason was a loving mother who had spiralled deep into postpartum depression and was in such a 鈥渄ark place鈥� that she felt her only option was to commit suicide and take her children with her.

鈥淎ll of the defence experts agree that there was an altruistic motive鈥� That means that Lauren killed her children out of love,鈥� Toohey told the jury yesterday in the defence opening address.

鈥淚n her mind, she was killing them out of love - she was killing herself and she didn鈥檛 want to leave the children鈥� she was so sure this was the right thing to do she persisted.

鈥淭his is about postpartum depression and a mother who killed her children. She did not want to leave her children without a mum鈥� she also did not want her children to suffer from having such a bad mother.鈥�

Hatters-Friedman is based in the US but worked at the Mason Clinic in Auckland as a forensic psychiatrist for seven years and at Auckland Women鈥檚Regional Correctional Facilty.

She has given evidence in court in both New Zealand and America and works most days treating patients, particularly in maternal mental health and women with forensic issues - those before the courts.

Frequent thoughts of killing the girls - what Lauren Dickason told the expert

Hatters-Friedman spoke to Dickason about the times in the past she had told her husband she鈥檇 had thoughts of harming the children.

The court has heard about these incidents earlier in the trial but Hatters-Friedman gave further insight.

鈥淚 want to make the twins quiet,鈥� Dickason told her husband in 2019.

He asked her how.

鈥淢aybe put a pillow over their heads,鈥� she replied.

Lauren Dickason during her police interview. Photo / Pool

Lauren Dickason during her police interview. Photo / Pool

She told Hatters-Friedman she never had any intention of doing that to the children - she 鈥渏ust wanted peace and quiet for 30 minutes鈥�.

Dickason was upset when her husband - who she felt she could tell anything - reacted in anger and called her mother to come over to the house.

She went to see a psychiatrist the next day.

Dickason approached her husband again - twice - about 鈥渟cary鈥� thoughts of hurting the girls.

The first time Graham Dickason 鈥渁sked if she could promise not to hurt them鈥�. She promised, and told him she 鈥渉ad a feeling but not a plan鈥�.

In early 2021 she told Hatters-Friedman the thoughts intensified.

鈥淎n image flashed into my head of sedating the girls, putting them in bath, cutting their femoral arteries鈥� and putting them to bed,鈥� she said.

She was 鈥渉orrified鈥� and went straight to tell her husband

鈥淒o you realise what you鈥檙e telling me?鈥� Graham said to her, angrily in her opinion.

鈥淚鈥檓 very scared, that鈥檚 why I鈥檓 telling you,鈥� she replied.

She said 鈥渆verything was unravelling鈥� and claimed her husband told her 鈥渋f anyone could hear her they would lock her up and would never see the girls again鈥�.

He told her 鈥減ut on your big girl panties鈥� and pull herself together for him and the girls.

She told Hatters-Friedman that the images were going through her head 鈥渢he entire night鈥�.

She was undergoing a foot surgery the next day and hoped that the anaesthetic would help to reset her mind.

It did not help and she woke up from the operation panicked and anxious.

Graham Dickason asked her if she wanted to be taken to a psychiatric ward and she said no as she worried it would 鈥渕ess up鈥� the emigration plan.

She kept having thoughts of killing the children - but told no one.

She had images in her mind 鈥渟till shots of each of the girls lying in the bath鈥� and of her 鈥減utting them in their beds to rest forever鈥�.

She todl Hatters-Friedman she 鈥渢ried to push (the thoughts) away into a box because they scared her so badly鈥�.

When the family were packing to leave South Africa the children were playing with a packet of zip ties - purchased to keep suitcases securely closed.

She had the thought 鈥渢his is another way children could get hurt鈥�.

She told the expert she put the zip ties away, scared of what she might do.

She did not tell her husband about the thoughts.

Due to his previous reaction, she was too afraid and kept everything to herself.

Hatters-Friedman said Dickason had thoughts and plans of suicide but worried deeply about leaving her children behind.

In the weeks leading up to the move she had a 鈥渢otal communication shut down鈥�.

She 鈥渏ust wanted to cry鈥� and did not speak to her friends, messaging them so they could no see her.

鈥淚 just lost control of everything,鈥� she said.

The Dickason girls. Photo / Supplied

The Dickason girls. Photo / Supplied

Dickason spoke about the day she killed her children. The family were relieved to get to Timaru after a long flight that Dickason was anxious throughout.

But things did not get better.

鈥淎nxiety was eating a hole in my stomach, I couldn鈥檛 think straight,鈥� she told Hatters-Friedman.

She told no one how badly she was struggling, sending messages to family and friends 鈥渁s if everything was alright鈥�.

The day of the alleged murders she felt alone, helpless and 鈥渟o far away from everyone鈥�.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 know how I am going to to this,鈥� she thought.

Things felt 鈥渢oo big鈥� and she 鈥渉ad no reserve left at all鈥� and she worried her husband was 鈥渢ired鈥� of her and 鈥渋rritated鈥� .

When Graham Dickason left for a work function she touched his arm and said 鈥済oodbye鈥�.

鈥淚t felt so surreal, almost like I wasn鈥檛 in my body,鈥� she told Hatters-Friedman.

The children started to play up and bicker and Dickason went to the bathroom.

鈥淭here was so much noise,鈥� she said.

She was scared for the children and about what she might do.

Hatters-Friedman said Dickason was thinking 鈥淚 just can鈥檛 do another day of this鈥�.

鈥淚 just can鈥檛 do this one more day - I just want this to end,鈥� Dickason remembered thinking.

She then remembered there were zip ties in the garage and 鈥渉er mind flashed back鈥� to her thoughts in South Africa of using them to kill the girls.

Dickason on killing girls: 鈥業 thought I was doing the right thing鈥�

Dickason talked through the killings at length with Hatters-Friedman.

She said she told the children 鈥渕ummy鈥檚 very sick and is going to die鈥�.

鈥淚 can鈥檛 leave you behind because I don鈥檛 know who鈥檚 going to look after you,鈥� she said.

She had planned to take her own life with zip ties as well but changed her mind when she 鈥渟aw how long it took鈥�.

She then took other measures to try and end her life.

鈥淚 want this to be over,鈥� Dickason said she was thinking.

鈥淚鈥檒l be in heaven and I鈥檒l be safe.鈥�

When she woke up the next day in hospital she had no memory of her husand coming home and finding the children.

She said she was 鈥渋n hell鈥�.

鈥淚 thought I got my family to safety but I鈥檝e left them behind,鈥� she thought.

Specialist police spent days at the Dickason's Timaru home after the three children were found dead. Photo / George Heard

Specialist police spent days at the Dickason's Timaru home after the three children were found dead. Photo / George Heard

The court heard Dickason had no thought of the consequences of her actions because she 鈥渄idn鈥檛 expect to live鈥�.

She thought she was 鈥渄oing a favour for Graham鈥�.

鈥淚 wasn鈥檛 meant to wake up,鈥� she said.

鈥淪he thought the children would be better off in heaven because she was the worst wife and mother,鈥� said Hatters-Friedman.

Dickason said: 鈥淚 just wanted us all to be together鈥�.

鈥淚 loved them so much that I couldn鈥檛 leave them behind if I was to leave this world.鈥�

She said that she felt she was doing 鈥渢he right thing鈥� and 鈥渢he children would be better off dead in my mind because I am such a bad mum鈥�.

Dickason thought Graham would understand what happened to his family given she had mentioned in the past her thoughts of hurting the girls.

Expert tells jury about postpartum depression and motives

Before discussing Dickason鈥檚 specific case Hatters-Friedman explained a number of things to the jury including definitions of terminology she would use.

She also gave a detailed description of postpartum depression and its causes, noting symptoms could start to occur a year after a woman gives birth and can last for a long time and reoccur if there are multiple pregnancies.

鈥淭he time of highest risk in a woman鈥檚 life for the development of mental illness is in the postpartum,鈥� the court heard.

鈥淲omen with certain personality traits may be at higher risk.鈥�

Having obsessive-compulsive tendencies was one trait - and the jury has heard from two witnesses that Dickason was 鈥淥CD鈥� about her children.

Hatters-Friedman said common symptoms included feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt, fatigue or low energy, decreased concentration and suicidal thoughts.

鈥淲omen who have experienced severe depression at any time in their lives including in the postpartum may also have associated psychotic symptoms sucha s mood-congruent delusions in which content includes maternal inadequacy, nihilism or feeling deserving of punishment.

She also expanded more on the 鈥渁ltrustic motive鈥� the defence mentioned yesterday.

Hatters-Friedman said in such cases women wanted to end their lives and were of the belief that their child was 鈥渂etter off in heaven with their mother than remaining alive and motherless in what the depressed mother sees as a cruel uncaring world鈥�.

She also told the jury it was common for mothers battling depression to experience recurrent thoughts of harming their children which they were 鈥渉esitant to share with family鈥�.

Five motives for child murder - expert explains why parents kill

The jury were shown a table explaining the five 鈥渕otives for child murders by parents鈥� that experts refer to around the world.

Hatters-Friedman said fatal maltreatment was the most common and was when a parent killed a child through abuse or neglect.

The second was 鈥渦nwanted child鈥� - where a parent kills a child because they are seen as a hindrance. This generally happened after hidden and unwanted pregnancies or when a woman starts a new relationship and her partner did not want children.

Partner revenge was third and often occurred in the context of 鈥渁crimonious custody dispute, infidelity or relationship issues.

The last two, Hatters-Friedman said, were 鈥減sychiatric motives鈥�.

The altruistic motive - also described as an 鈥渆xtended suicide鈥� - is generally related to a parental 鈥渟uicide plan or beliefs about preventing or rescuing the child from a fate worse than death鈥�.

Hatters-Friedman said those parents loved their children but were delusional in their fears about what could happen to them if they remained alive.

And the 鈥渁cutely psychotic鈥� motive that involves a parent killing their child 鈥渋n throes of psychosis, for example, because of command hallucinations鈥�.

鈥淭he parent might hear the voice of 鈥楪od鈥� telling them to kill their child,鈥� she said as an example.

She said in altruistic cases a parent 鈥渃an also be psychotic鈥�.

Expert interviewed killer for 10 hours after arrest

Earlier, Hatters-Friedman became teary at one stage as she recalled Dickason speaking about her young daughters.

She told the court her job was to give an objective opinion looking at the whole picture.

She considered a large amount of information including witness statements, photographs, the messaging and internet search evidence presented to the jury and the interviews Dickason and her husband gave to police.

Dickason鈥檚 historic psychiatric and medical records were also provided to her and all notes and reports made about her mental health from the day she killed the children - including from the other experts engaged to give opinions at trial.

Hatters-Friedman was then able to speak to Dickason in person - four times and for about 10 hours in total - and prepared her own 66-page report.

She questioned the accused about her family, education, employment and cultural history.

Dickason spoke at length about her fertility journey, having her children and the family鈥檚 decision to emigrate to New Zealand.

She also spoke about the covid pandemic, lockdowns in South Africa and the family鈥檚 time in managed isolation when they arrived here - after a number of frustrating delays.

Dickason told the expert:

鈥淚 just wanted to wrap (the children) up and protect them from everything that the world was throwing at them.鈥�

Before the lunch break, Hatters-Friedman began canvassing Dickason鈥檚 psychiatric history.

She will continue her evidence this afternoon.

Hatters-Friedman is one of three experts that will give evidence for the defence.

Two others will give evidence for the Crown.

鈥淚f you find that Lauren鈥檚 mind was disturbed at the time this happened due to postpartum depression - then this is not murder it鈥檚 infanticide,鈥� Toohey said yesterday.

鈥淎nd if she didn鈥檛 know what she was doing was morally wrong that night then she is not guilty of murder or infant that is insanity.鈥�

The trial, before Justice Cameron Mander, is expected to run for at least one more week.

SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION


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