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'Nothing made him stop': Wife details decade of alleged violent sex abuse by porn-obsessed husband

Author
Catherine Hutton ,
Publish Date
Tue, 26 Nov 2024, 8:49pm
The man is on trial accused of being violent and forcing the woman to have sex, involving the use of toys and pornography, several times a week,
The man is on trial accused of being violent and forcing the woman to have sex, involving the use of toys and pornography, several times a week,

'Nothing made him stop': Wife details decade of alleged violent sex abuse by porn-obsessed husband

Author
Catherine Hutton ,
Publish Date
Tue, 26 Nov 2024, 8:49pm

WARNING: This article discusses family violence, which may upset some readers.

鈥淚鈥檝e seen a lot of (pornographic) films and I鈥檓 going to do every single one with you,鈥 a man allegedly told his wife.

That man is currently before a jury in the Wellington District Court, where he denies 25 charges, most of which are sex and violence-related.

The woman鈥檚 allegations were contained in a two-hour interview with a specialist police interviewer that was played to a jury today.

During that interview the woman outlined a decade of abuse she endured from her then-husband, that began before they arrived in New Zealand in 2017, settling in Wellington.

The man鈥檚 lawyer Gerry Dobbyn yesterday told the court the ex-wife is lying, and her version of events has changed over time to suit her interests.

In the video, the woman said since arriving in the capital her husband forced her to have sex two or three times a week, always with the aid of sex toys, which he kept in drawers under the bed.

He鈥檇 also play pornography on a large television he鈥檇 bought for their bedroom.

鈥淗e would play a porn movie and expect me to do everything in the movie.鈥

She said if a movie featured a sex toy he didn鈥檛 have, he鈥檇 buy it on the internet.

On one occasion she said he came into the bedroom and turned on the television before telling her: 鈥淚鈥檝e seen a lot of films and I鈥檓 going to do every single one with you,鈥.

She said she knew what was going to happen as soon as he turned the television on, but told the interviewer she didn鈥檛 know the extent of her suffering that night.

She described how he allegedly tied her wrists and hands, before breaking down in tears as she described how he violated her with the sex toys.

She told the interviewer she was in pain and repeatedly asked him to stop.

鈥淲hat made him stop?鈥 the interviewer asked.

鈥淣othing, nothing made him stop. I鈥檇 have to leave my body,鈥 she replied explaining the sex went on for hours.

She said her husband was addicted to drugs, taking handfuls of pills - including Tramadol. These left him unable to reach an orgasm but also kept him up at night. When this happened, he wouldn鈥檛 let her sleep, she said. She described how he鈥檇 sleep in the morning, usually waking about lunchtime.

鈥淲hen he used to take his tablets something would happen inside of him ... you could see it was affecting him and I fear he may die, he often fainted after taking the tablets,鈥 she said.

If she refused his sexual demands the woman said they would argue, which risked waking the children. Or, she claimed he would beat her or stop her from seeing their children.

鈥楾hat is your birthday gift鈥

Following that interview, the woman gave evidence by AVL from another location.

She told the court he鈥檇 threatened her when he was pregnant. She described how he came towards her with a knife, which he held to her throat. He also punched her in the face saying, 鈥渢hat is your birthday gift鈥.

In response to questioning by Crown prosecutor Nicole Jamieson about what had happened that day, the woman said she was begging him and crying.

鈥淚 told him that it was my birthday, and I was begging him to stop and not to kill me.鈥

Her husband said he was going to kill her and no one would be able to find her, she said.

The 46-year-old defendant took extensive notes during his ex-wife鈥檚 evidence, frequently passing these to his lawyer.

He denies a total of 25 charges including indecent assault, assault on a child, conspiring to defeat justice, breach of a protection order, wilfully attempting to pervert the course of justice and sexual violation by rape.

That also includes 12 charges of assaulting a person in a family relationship, four charges of threatening to kill and three charges of unlawful sexual connection.

The jury trial before Judge Bill Hastings is expected to take two or three weeks.

FAMILY VIOLENCE

How to get help: If you鈥檙e in danger now: 鈥 Phone the police on 111 or ask neighbours or friends to ring for you. 鈥 Run outside and head for where there are other people. Scream for help so your neighbours can hear you. 鈥 Take the children with you. Don鈥檛 stop to get anything else. 鈥 If you are being abused, remember it鈥檚 not your fault. Violence is never okay.

Where to go for help or more information:&苍产蝉辫;鈥&苍产蝉辫;: Crisis line - 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 (available 24/7) 鈥 : Helpline - 0508 744 633 (available 24/7) 鈥 : Family violence information line - 0800 456 450 鈥 : Specialist services for African, Asian and Middle Eastern women and children. 鈥 Crisis line - 0800 742 584 (available 24/7) 鈥 : For information on family violence 鈥 : National Network of Family Violence Services 鈥 : Aiming to eliminate men鈥檚 violence towards women.

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Catherine Hutton is an Open Justice reporter, based in Wellington. She has worked as a journalist for 20 years, including at the Waikato Times and RNZ. Most recently she was working as a media adviser at the Ministry of Justice.

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