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‘Drink to enjoy, not to medicate’: Far North deputy mayor's festive warning

Author
Jenny Ling,
Publish Date
Tue, 31 Dec 2024, 4:23pm

‘Drink to enjoy, not to medicate’: Far North deputy mayor's festive warning

Author
Jenny Ling,
Publish Date
Tue, 31 Dec 2024, 4:23pm

Blackouts, bruising, and a sprained ankle from alcohol-fuelled nights were once a normal part of Deputy Mayor Kelly Stratford鈥檚 life.

Throughout many of her teenage and adult years, she partook in binge drinking sessions, had bottles of wine stashed in her handbag, and drank homemade gin 鈥渓ike it was water鈥.

But a health scare in 2017 prompted the 47-year-old of Ng膩puhi, Ng膩tiwai, Ng膩i Te Rangi, Welsh and Irish descent to turn her life around.

Stratford, who recently celebrated her seventh year of sobriety, wants to share her story about the damaging effects of alcohol abuse, particularly as people celebrate the New Year.

鈥淪ometimes I鈥檇 go out and I wouldn鈥檛 remember part of the night.

鈥淚 had injuries; a sprained ankle, and bruises down my side.

鈥淚 didn鈥檛 know how they happened, mostly likely during a fall.鈥

Stratford said she drank to cope with stress such as a difficult life event or person, or hosting a kid鈥檚 party.

鈥淓very time there was a stressful situation I felt I needed something to get me through.

鈥淚t was that hankering for a drink when I got stressed.

鈥淚 even carried a bottle around in my bag.

鈥淚 drank to excess; when I drank it was hard for me to stop.鈥

Stratford鈥檚 wake-up call came when she visited her doctor for a check-up in 2017.

She was having problems with digestion and tightness in her chest, sparking fears she was having a heart attack.

鈥淚 went to the emergency department and had ECG monitoring, which was okay, but the doctor sat me down and said, 鈥榶ou鈥檙e obese鈥.鈥

Kelly Stratford sticks to coffee and iced tea these days, and makes an effort to look after her health. Photo / Jenny LingKelly Stratford sticks to coffee and iced tea these days, and makes an effort to look after her health. Photo / Jenny Ling

Stratford was nearly 100kg at the time.

She was also going through a particularly stressful time which included moving house and selling the Trainspotter Cafe in which she ran with her husband Daniel.

She was on the Whangaroa-Bay of Islands Community Board and was standing for a spot on council to replace Willow-Jean Prime who had won a seat in Parliament in 2017.

Stratford was elected a first-time councillor in 2018.

After the doctor鈥檚 appointment, she was scrolling on social media when Kelly Rennie from Busy Mum Fitness popped up on her Facebook feed.

Stratford embarked on Rennie鈥檚 fitness programme with a focus on exercise, nutrition, water, stress management, and the biggie - no alcohol.

鈥淭he biggest adjustment was no alcohol, but I didn鈥檛 think anything of it because I had stopped drinking in the past, like when I was pregnant.

鈥淥ne week in I started having severe joint pain and shaking.

鈥淚t made me think, holy crap I think my body has got addicted to alcohol. I really felt the need to have a drink; it was so strong, I鈥檇 never noticed it before.鈥

As the withdrawal symptoms subsided, and with more mental clarity, Stratford was compelled to delve deeper into why she drank.

Stratford - who was named the in 2022 by then newly-minted Mayor Moko Tepania - attended counselling sessions, and admitted to friends and wh膩nau she had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

Hiking is one of the ways Kelly Stratford keeps healthy and manages stress.Hiking is one of the ways Kelly Stratford keeps healthy and manages stress.

Her three children were supportive, though they told it to her straight.

鈥淭hey would tell me stories about when I was drunk ... that I鈥檇 get really loud and aggressive.

鈥淗aving clarity helped me have conversations with loved ones who told me I wasn鈥檛 a nice person when I drank.

鈥淏uying a couple of bottles of wine a day wasn鈥檛 healthy, blacking out on a drinking evening wasn鈥檛 normal.

鈥淚t wasn鈥檛 until I stopped drinking that I realised that.鈥

These days Stratford opts for non-alcoholic drinks like soda water and iced tea, and manages stress with gardening, hiking, and gym sessions at .

She meditates, reads books, and listens to podcasts about living sober.

鈥淚 still have fun. I don鈥檛 miss the buzz that alcohol gave me, because I find that buzz just being around people.鈥

Stratford鈥檚 message to others this is: 鈥淏e safe.

鈥淭hink about the negative impact of alcohol. It鈥檚 a drug.

鈥淒rink to enjoy but not to medicate or suppress.

鈥淚t鈥檚 okay to sit in your feelings, you don鈥檛 have to suppress them with alcohol.鈥

Stratford is grateful for that wake-up call seven years ago.

鈥淓veryone has some form of trauma.

鈥淔or me stopping drinking, I had to deal with things that had happened in the past that were triggering or things I had not resolved.

鈥淚t led me to confront not just the weight, but the deeper stuff ... everything I鈥檇 been drowning out.鈥

Jenny Ling is a senior journalist at the Northern Advocate. She has a special interest in covering human interest stories, along with roading, lifestyle, business, and animal welfare issues.

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