A two year investigation has cleared former NZ First MP Brendan Horan of allegations he took money from his dying mother's bank account.
The former politician was dropped by his party during the investigation, with leader Winston Peters saying Mr Horan had a duty to resign.
Now Mr Horan is cleared, he's said there's nothing Mr Peters could do to make it up to him.
"I really don't want to talk about the fellow, I am having difficulty reconciling myself...and forgiving myself for ever having believed in that..in the fellow."
Mr Horan says the long public scrutiny has taken a toll.
"When you walk by and you hear people whispering and then you see them pointing at your loved ones, it's been very difficult."
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