WARNING: This article discusses suicide and sex with a minor and may be distressing.
Sarah Campbell* was 14 when she first tried meth. Within a year her life was spiralling out of control, she had dropped out of school, was addicted to drugs and selling her body to pay for them. Today, she鈥檚 clean and has recently forgiven the man who exploited her at a time when she was in such desperate need of guidance. She tells her remarkable story of survival to听Open Justice听reporter Emily Moorhouse.听
Sixteen-year-old Sarah Campbell had just one thought as she sat in a harshly lit prison cell staring at a white wall covered in graffiti, listening to prisoners around her yelling out gang phrases.听
鈥淭hese aren鈥檛 my people.鈥听
The sleep-deprived teen, who was coming down from an MDMA bender, had been arrested after a violent confrontation with her father that resulted in her being dragged kicking and screaming from her bedroom by two police officers.听
It was both her lowest point, and the start of a new beginning for the teen who had spent the past two years taking drugs and selling herself in order to pay for them.听
鈥淚鈥檓 staring the truth in the face. I don鈥檛 want to be here anymore. I don鈥檛 want to be that person who is yelling in a cell,鈥 she recalls.听
As Campbell, not her real name, sits in a caf茅 sipping on her iced matcha latte, hair pulled into a slick ponytail, dressed in a blazer and dress pants, it鈥檚 hard to visualise her as the girl from the cells.听
Her story sounds more like a work of fiction than the life of someone who was raised in a Christian household with loving parents. But the sad, and at times traumatic, details of her early teens are all too real and it has taken incredible strength for Campbell, who is now in her early twenties, to get to this point.听
Campbell describes a happy childhood where her father, who kept her in line, was the 鈥渉ead of the home鈥 in a very tight-knit family.听
It wasn鈥檛 until she turned 13 that she began to notice cracks in her parents鈥 marriage.听
Her father started coming home late from work smelling of alcohol. It wasn鈥檛 long before he 鈥渨alked away from his faith鈥 and started using cannabis, occasionally offering the drug to her.听
Sarah began spending most of her time in her room, struggling to understand the division in her family. Photo / File听
Her parents鈥 marriage breakdown sent Campbell spiralling into a sad and lonely place, and she became suicidal. The 鈥渘a茂ve, wrapped up childhood鈥 she had experienced seemed to vanish before her eyes as she realised the world wasn鈥檛 as bright as she grew up to believe.听
Campbell鈥檚 father moved out of the family home when she was 14. The shock and betrayal she felt soon turned to anger at her parents for keeping her so sheltered from the real world.听
鈥淚鈥檇 been on this straight and narrow for all of my life and I鈥檇 known what I鈥檇 known and all of a sudden I didn鈥檛 find truth in that.听
鈥淚 was so angry that I lashed out and I thought, 鈥榳ell what鈥檚 the point anymore鈥.鈥听
Campbell stopped attending school and barely left her bedroom. Her mother knew something was wrong but Campbell found it hard to express what she was going through and ignored her mother鈥檚 encouragement to go back to school.听
She soon made friends with a boy named Tyler,* who was a year younger than her and had seen her walking around the neighbourhood.听
Campbell began spending time with him, enjoying the distraction from the 鈥減ain and emptiness鈥 of sitting in her bedroom alone all day.听
鈥淚 was imploding there,鈥 she said.听
鈥淚 knew what I was exposing myself to wasn鈥檛 good but at least I was feeling something.鈥听
Tyler鈥檚 father was a Satanist and Campbell would often hear him screaming in the house from where the pair hung out in the garage sleepout. Cannabis use was also normal in Tyler鈥檚 family and soon enough Campbell began using the drug.听
鈥淚 wasn鈥檛 considering how detrimental my choices were going to be on my life and if I were to even have that thought it didn鈥檛 matter anymore because nothing did.鈥听
Sarah started using cannabis as she distanced herself from her family and began hanging out with a new group of friends. Photo / File听
Tyler introduced Campbell to his wider friend circle, a tight-knit group who 鈥渂roke the law鈥 together, and it wasn鈥檛 long before she tried harder drugs.听
She was 14 the first time she tried methamphetamine, given to her by her friend鈥檚 mother who was a regular user.听
She said her friend鈥檚 mother would walk around the house saying, 鈥渋t鈥檚 medicine time!鈥 before handing her children a meth pipe.听
Campbell said part of her knew what she was doing was 鈥渟tupid and wrong,鈥 and from what she鈥檇 heard, meth was 鈥渢errible鈥, but she was desperate to escape the emptiness that was consuming her.听
鈥淚 didn鈥檛 have a will to live and if this is going to make me feel something when I feel so numb, let it happen. I sort of welcomed it because it was making me feel again.鈥听
After being so 鈥渂rain dead鈥 due to her deteriorating mental health, Campbell felt alive again when she tried meth. However, when the high wore off she felt she鈥檇 lost more than she had gained from the experience.听
She described watching her friend鈥檚 family stuck deep in the cycle of meth use, and soon she was in that pattern herself, a fate she had already accepted.听
鈥淎 lot of the decisions I made during that time... I accepted that I deserved that because my family had broken apart, my dad was angry at me, it must be all my fault,鈥 she said.听
Campbell would couch hop at various friends鈥 houses, making the odd appearance at her mother鈥檚 house when she had nowhere else to stay but this would often end in a violent outburst at her mother.听
She knew her mother was praying for her throughout this whole period of her life and would encourage her to go back to church, but she had completely turned away from her faith.听
Bonded through trauma听
It wasn鈥檛 long until Campbell met Lauren* who was a year older than her and already involved in sex work. She also regularly used drugs to cope.听
The pair clicked and formed a strong friendship, before moving into Lauren鈥檚 uncle鈥檚 house together, where he supplied them with drugs such as MDMA, cannabis and DMT.听
Lauren shared Campbell鈥檚 struggles with mental health and the girls connected through a sense of betrayal and anger and were soon 鈥渂onded鈥 through shared trauma.听
鈥淚 had felt so alone and finally there was someone who understood a depth of my pain, so I was able to connect to someone in a way I hadn鈥檛 for a while.鈥听
It was during this time that Campbell started using drugs more intensely and by the age of 15, she was hooked on meth, spending most of her time with Lauren, who became her closest friend.听
鈥淲hen you take drugs for a long period of time you sort of merge and really connect [with a person]. You sink into a person in a way that you wouldn鈥檛 sober,鈥 she said, describing the pair almost becoming the same person.听
Sarah became involved in sex work when she was 15, often high while she was working. Photo / 123rf听
Lauren began introducing Campbell to older men who were 鈥減imping her out鈥 and giving the girls drugs.听
They encouraged her to become involved in sex work, saying it was an easy way to make money and fund her drug addiction.听
At that point, Campbell felt she was a walking body with 鈥渘o soul or spirit,鈥 so when presented with the idea of prostitution, it made sense to her to say yes.听
Asked what was going through her head when she agreed, Campbell paused for a long time.听
鈥淚 had kind of accepted that I was dying,鈥 she finally said.听
鈥淚 thought this is just part of the process of me getting closer and closer to not being here anymore.鈥听
She and Lauren would spend their days going for walks, making food, smoking weed, watching YouTube and going out for drinks if they had money.听
They would meet clients that Lauren had organised through social media, often when they were high, with one goal in mind: making enough money to afford more drugs.听
The trial听
During that time, Campbell was introduced to a man named Mathew Stephens, who would later appear at the Christchurch District Court on trial听for organising prostitution deals for Campbell and taking some of her earnings.听听
In June,听Stephens was found guilty听by a jury of one charge of assisting persons under 18 in providing commercial sexual services and one charge of receiving earnings from commercial sexual services provided by persons under 18.听听
In October,听Stephens was sentenced to three months of community detention听and 100 hours of community work and ordered to make an emotional harm payment.听
Campbell took the stand to give evidence during the trial where she told the court of her relationship with Stephens, who she described as 鈥渕anipulative and controlling,鈥 saying he 鈥済roomed鈥 her.听
At one point between October 2016 and June 2018, Stephens dropped Campbell off at a motel to meet a client before taking $100 of her earnings when the job was done.听
Mathew Stephens during his trial. Photo / George Heard听
Campbell said she was told to lie about her age but didn鈥檛 think the clients cared that she was 15. Often her clients were older foreign men who spoke little English so there wasn鈥檛 much conversing, she said.听
That was Campbell鈥檚 life for the next nine months to a year before her relationship with Lauren came to an end.听
Lauren鈥檚 uncle had been supporting Campbell, encouraging her to make a better life for herself 鈥 something she suspected Lauren, who tended to get jealous, 鈥渃ouldn鈥檛 stand鈥. Lauren pushed Campbell away and she was left wondering where to go next.听
Although this period was often blurred with heavy drug use, Campbell remembers conversations she had with people along the way who reminded her that she was a good person.听
Her cannabis dealer was one: 鈥淒on鈥檛 ruin your life like I have. Don鈥檛 become who I am鈥.听
She had limited contact with her parents who had instructed the police to bring her home if they saw her wandering around.听
Campbell said she was sort of 鈥渙n the run鈥 and never crossed paths with the police, often flying under the radar.听
鈥淸My family] talked about disowning me because of how destructive I鈥檇 become. They didn鈥檛 know what to do.听
鈥淭hat really hit me and made me think I need to get it together.鈥听
鈥業 knew in my heart I was made for more鈥听
Campbell began to distance herself from the people involved in sex work and moved into her father鈥檚 house but struggled to curb her drug addiction. She continued to spiral and became incredibly self-critical, comparing herself to her peers.听
She remembers thinking they had done so well, doing things like running for head girl and planning their futures, while she had barely left her bedroom, trying to fight her drug addiction.听
鈥淚 knew in my heart that I was made for more and I knew that wasn鈥檛 me.鈥听
While Campbell managed to stop using meth, she continued using other drugs and would take large amounts of MDMA and lie in bed reflecting on all the decisions she had made.听
鈥淚 was putting myself through that so I could really understand this is the reality of my life, feel it, understand it, see what it鈥檚 doing to you, find a way out.鈥听
Campbell describes having been awake for several days 鈥渨restling with ideas and emotions鈥 when her father came into her bedroom, telling her to turn the music down.听
An argument broke out and Campbell, who was suffering withdrawal symptoms, 鈥渓ashed out in a very violent way鈥.听
鈥淚鈥檇 never hit my dad like that so that was a massive overstep.鈥听
Her father tackled her to the ground and called the police, as she was 鈥渙ut of control鈥 and he was concerned not just for her safety, but the safety of those around her.听
Campbell describes two big male police officers dragging her down the stairs and out of her father鈥檚 house while she was thrashing around and screaming.听
Eventually, the officers had to tackle her to the ground.听
As Campbell lay there, she felt all the rage and pain that had built up for years and screamed out: 鈥淕od please save me鈥.听
鈥淚 let it all go. I let my pride go and I just felt peace and calm. I felt like I had finally been heard in a way that I could be at peace with my soul.鈥听
Campbell sobbed in the back of the police car on the way to the station before she was put in the cells on a Friday afternoon.听
The exhausted 16-year-old slept for most of the first day until she was moved into a new cell, a small room with two windows and harsh lighting reflecting off the white walls.听
She spent most of the day reflecting on everything she had 鈥渞uined鈥.听
She remembers staring blankly at the cell wall covered in graffiti and hearing other prisoners yelling out gang phrases.听
鈥淚 had this sense that I needed to go back to my faith and my roots and what I was raised in. I knew that was the only way to heal all the pain I鈥檇 gone through.鈥听
After spending the weekend in the cells, something Campbell is now grateful for, she appeared in court on the Monday morning after speaking with a lawyer who put a plan in place for her rehabilitation.听
She stood in the courtroom and listened to the judge talk about all the choices she had made that landed her in prison.听
鈥淚 just looked over at her and I was so afraid and I just broke down in tears. As soon as I started crying [the judge] said, 鈥業t鈥檚 okay, you鈥檙e going to be okay鈥.鈥听
A new beginning听
Campbell was bailed to her father鈥檚 house and worked hard to stick to her conditions but still struggled with cannabis use.听
鈥淎gain, I knew I was made for more and I had to keep pushing forward,鈥 she said.听
Within a few months, she had admitted herself to a rehab facility for a three-month stint, determined to get her life back on track.听
She learned how to cope with addiction issues and completed some NCEA credits. She moved back in with her mother, slowly starting to rebuild that relationship, and went back to church.听
鈥淚 felt wrapped up, I felt accepted, I felt loved. I felt like I could finally rest and let go of the pain and not have to carry it anymore.鈥听
Campbell went back to school for her final year at age 17. She excelled.听
鈥淚 did better in school in Year 13 than I had done in Year 9. I had a lot of motivation and drive and I wanted to do well. I was always the first to put my hand up.鈥听
Campbell worked as a caregiver on the weekends and when she finished school, began working full-time in rest-home care, before moving into dementia and mental health care.听
When Stephens鈥 trial began in June, Campbell took up a retail role with more flexible hours that could accommodate her attending court.听
She describes the trial as a difficult thing to go through but believes it was integral for her healing process and beneficial for both her and Stephens.听
鈥淚鈥檇 been able to heal in a way that I could see clearly that I鈥檇 been through some stuff, but I didn鈥檛 need to carry that shame and guilt and I didn鈥檛 need to be afraid of that process.鈥听
Campbell read her victim impact statement at Stephens鈥 sentencing. In it she offered him forgiveness, an important part of her faith.听
Campbell said she had been 鈥渇orgiven so deeply鈥 for the mistakes she鈥檇 made, and wanted the same for Stephens.听
鈥淢e offering forgiveness to him was my way of saying, 鈥業 see you, I see that you鈥檙e under pressure and your struggles鈥. It was hard and I almost didn鈥檛 want to say it initially, but I just knew it was the right thing to do.鈥听
Campbell has plans to go overseas and would like to be able to help in third-world countries.听
She encourages anyone going through what she went through to remember they aren鈥檛 alone and are capable of things they can鈥檛 even imagine.听
鈥淭rust that you are loved. We are stronger than we think we are.鈥听
What does she feel when she looks back on little Campbell?听
鈥淚鈥檓 quite glad we made it through,鈥 she says with a small smile.听
鈥淭here is a sadness for that little girl... but those situations made me who I am and those situations created the heart that I have for the people around me. It did define me but in the best way possible.鈥听
*Names have been changed in this story to protect the identity of the victim.听
SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION
Where to get help:
鈥听: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)
鈥听: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO (available 24/7)
鈥 Youth services: (06) 3555 906
鈥听: 0800 376 633
鈥听: 0800 942 8787 (11am to11pm)
鈥听: 0800 111 757 (available 24/7)
鈥 Helpline: 1737
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
DRUG ADDICTION
Where to get help:
鈥 0800 METH HELP (0800 6384 4357)
鈥 Alcohol Drug Helpline (Phone 0800 787 797 or text 8681)
鈥 They also have a M膩ori line on 0800 787 798 and a Pasifika line on 0800 787 799
Emily Moorhouse is a Christchurch-based Open Justice journalist at 九一星空无限. She joined 九一星空无限 in 2022. Before that, she was at the Christchurch Star.
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