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• A teenager has pleaded with her to seek help, saying her biggest fear is finding out he has reoffended

• The defendant, now 18, has been sentenced to three years in for the attack on his schoolmate

• A judge has praised the victim and urged her not to let the incident define her

Content warning: This article refers to sexual assault, suicide and self-harm. Helplines can be found at the bottom of the page.

A “courageous” teen who was raped by a schoolmate has faced her attacker in court, saying although he destroyed her she just wants him to get help.

Visibly shaking and awash with tears, the girl stood in the District Court this week and described how even two years later she could still feel the places where her abuser touched her.

“I take each day as it comes, trying to find reasons to hang on,” she said.

“What you did to me changed me completely.”

According to Judge John Walker, the victim, aged 17 at the time and who knew the defendant from school, was visiting his house in in October 2022.

When the then 16-year-old defendant, who has now been diagnosed with anti-social personality disorder - known informally as sociopathy - began assaulting her, she asked to leave, and he replied “not yet”.

He raped and choked the victim before letting her leave.

The sentencing was held in the Hutt Valley District Court.

The defendant, who has interim name suppression, was charged in the Youth Court, but after a lack of engagement with rehabilitation services and multiple breaches of his bail, the matter was transferred to the for sentencing. He has admitted charges of rape and unlawful sexual connection.

His sentencing was held over two separate days.

The victim read her statement at the first hearing on Wednesday, saying it had been 780 days since the rape.

“I think about what happened every day and I feel so worthless. I no longer know how to live happily,” she said.

The girl battled suicidal thoughts every day.

"Although you have destroyed me, I hope for you to get help. It’s my biggest fear to find out you have reoffended.

“Take any help offered and please don’t do this again.”

The girl’s mother also read a harrowing victim impact statement, describing nights where she had to go out looking for her daughter who was trying again to kill herself.

The woman had sat by her daughter’s side in hospital multiple times watching her recover from a suicide attempt. She described her daughter being pulled out of the river, trying to jump off bridges, and said she had had to cut down makeshift nooses and wash blood off the sheets after the victim had self-harmed.

“I do not resent any minute I spent protecting or caring for her. That resentment is all directed towards you,” the mum said.

Judge John Walker told the victim the courage she had shown in court demonstrated her "enormous potential".

She said her strong marriage of 20 years could not withstand the stress of what had happened, and she was also unable to work because she took her daughter to so many appointments.

“[My daughter] will spend the rest of her life living with what you did to her.”

The woman thanked everyone who had supported the family through the justice process.

“Mostly I want to thank [my daughter] for trying so hard to be the strong, amazing lady I know she is. You can get through this sweetheart, don’t let anyone’s actions get you down. Go out and conquer the world, I know you can do it.”

The defendant also stood in court to apologise to the victim and her family.

“I am very sorry for what I did. It was not okay,” he said.

“I do acknowledge what you guys have said to me. I do take that into thought and consideration. I’mreally sorry.”

During the second part of the sentencing, held today, Judge Walker praised the victim for her bravery.

“The victim has been courageous in standing up in court,” he said.

“To the victim, I say there is no reason for you to feel worthless. What happened is not your fault. The courage which you have shown in this court demonstrates your enormous potential. Do not allow what happened to you to define you.”

In her sentencing submissions, defence lawyer Clare Stanley referred to the defendant’s recent anti-social personality disorder diagnosis.

She said he had “very limited social skills” and his disorder meant he had issues with empathy and understanding others' viewpoints.

Judge Walker said the defendant had not engaged in a meaningful way with treatment.

“[The victim and her family] were hopeful that you would be able to succeed in treatment but your apparent lack of real engagement, and repeated breaches of bail, have removed that hope from them.”

The judge told the girl there was no reason for her to feel worthless and the attack was not her fault. File photo / 123rf

He noted the defendant had an above-average risk of reoffending, and that he exhibited “therapy-blocking behaviours”.

Judge Walker allowed discounts to the sentence for the defendant’s admission of guilt, his youth, and his limited involvement with rehabilitation programmes.

He sentenced the defendant to three years in prison. He has reserved his decision on whether to allow the defendant to have permanent name suppression.

SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION

Where to get help:•&�Բ�����;: Call 0800 543 354 or text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7)
•&�Բ�����;: Call 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
• Youth services: (06) 3555 906
•&�Բ�����;: Call 0800 376 633 or text 234
•&�Բ�����;: Call 0800 942 8787 (11am to 11pm) or webchat (11am to 10.30pm)
•&�Բ�����;: Call 0800 111 757 or text 4202 (available 24/7)
• Helpline: Need to talk? Call or text 1737
•&�Բ�����;: Call 0800 000 053
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.

SEXUAL HARM

Where to get help:If it's an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111.If you've ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone, contact  confidentially, any time 24/7:
• Call 0800 044 334
• Text 4334
• Email [email protected]
• For more info or to web chat visit 
Alternatively contact your local police station - 
If you have been sexually assaulted, remember it's not your fault.

Melissa Nightingale is a Wellington-based reporter who covers crime, justice and news in the capital. She joined the Herald in 2016 and has worked as a journalist for 10 years.